sajirah

So I've had this novel...story...thing...y...in my head for nearly ten years. Of course over that amount of time it's nowhere near what it used to be, but many of the same characters and themes are still there. Still...it's been nearly a decade...aaannnnnnnnd I have yet to truly start this story and put it down on paper/word document. Not that I haven't tried...and boy have I tried. 

Here's my problem, I'm a creative perfectionist. Sure I'm a lazy-ass and a procrastinator to boot, but once I actually get off my ass and start something I get really, really into it and won't stop until it's perfect and amazing and superspecialawesome. The problem with that though is there are some projects I can have that mentality and get away with it (like drawing or painting)...writing however is not one of them. I will sit down in front of my computer rearing and ready to go and as soon as I open a word document, everything I have swirling around in my mind comes crashing into this barrier. I can't find the right words to express what's going on in my head and so any sentence I write is almost immediately deleted. Nothing sounds...right. I know that with a rough draft this shouldn't matter so much but I just can't continue on from a sentence that makes no sense to me as the storyteller, or else the WHOLE story makes no sense...if that makes any sense. Thus has this sort of state of mind set me back from ever really telling this story of mine. And therein lies the problem. 

Today I spent my nearly entire day off forcing myself to sit in front of my computer and write something story-related. In the end, after continuous deleting and head-shaking and yet more deleting, I managed to write a single paragraph that I deemed worthy enough not to erase from existence immediately. One. Fucking. Paragraph...Go. Me. At this rate I'll have the first draft done in another ten years.

Somebody...anybody...please help me. 

Oops. I blame life. 

So there's supposedly a ghost who shacks up at my friend's house. I was skeptical, but then I'd never come across said ghost. Still, I know better than to disregard things I don't understand. That was, until a week ago. We had  trip to Chicago planned for the next day, so we had to hit the sack earlyish to get up early the next morning. I hijacked her dad's room since said dad had disappeared for the night to wherever. Normally I sleep on thier comfy couch, but I thought, "Hey, free bed!" and that was the end of it. Until I started nodding off. I heard noises...but it's an old house so I wrote it off and tried to settle back in. And then there were the flickers of things in the mirror...and then...something breathed on my neck. I promptly freaked out. Needless to say, I barely slept that night. I later learned that my friend's dad's room is where thier ghost 'Betty' appears the most. Fabulous. Just so we're clear, not staying in her dad's room EVER again.

So now that my mom's desktop is finally fixed (sort of), I can hijack it and write...and you know what that means!!! Yay more chapters!! I'll post them here for my friends to see them since I can't seem to recieve Rachel's betaed versions by e-mail and I'm just too plain lazy to deal with sending them anywhere. And it's not like anyone else comes here and reads them...or do they??? So whenever I finish a chapter (of any story) I'll post it here and note my friends on DA.

In other news, I saw Ponyo. It was adorable. I also saw District 9. It was badass. Seriously.

And OMG did I mention that I might go to Italy this summer? OMFGriulhtfgcvbigeturgn;oargvhoeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!


~Sajirah

So I had the scariest dream last night. My grandparents and I went outside to watch for zombies (no surprise there, I was watching clips from Zombieland before I fell asleep. That movie is funny as hell) when all of a sudden, something akin to a supernova or a gamma ray burst made the sky explode. A wave of it came so close to earth, I could feel the radiation sizzling the hairs on my skin. It totally freaked me out. I've had a similar dream where I was watching a nuclear explosion racing towards me in the middle of a desert. That was scary as hell. What's with the apocolyptic explosion dreams lately? O_O

...or whatever other holiday you celebrate this month!!

( Holiday stuff... )

Happy Holidays!!

So I just finished watching the Caprica Pilot on Hulu...WOW. It was interesting to get a more in-depth look into Caprica instead of only getting a few passing references of it in BSG. A very interesting take on how the cylons were created...and little-Adama...squee!! The ending gave me chills, can't wait 'till it airs so I can see what happens next! Definately weird to see Polly Walker dressed in modern clothes and ruling a private school instead of ruling a Roman household (as Atia from 'ROME'...God, I LOVE that show!), but still awesome that she's in what promises to be another great series...yay!!

As for me...I've all but given up the job hunt. No one is hiring and those who do are only interested in those much older than me, completely skipping over anyone from my age group...which I can understand completely, but still pisses me off nonetheless. At this point, the whole 'move to Alaska with my dad for a few months' thing is a go. If I can't find a job here, I might as well move on to someplace I can.

And then there's Christmas...and my birthday coming up in only a matter of weeks. Not much going on during Christmas as far as I can tell. But my dad will be here on the 28th and than the 29th will be spent up in Seattle shopping and watching Avatar and hopefully keeping my mind off food while I starve myself for my colonscopy the next day...on my birthday...yeah, I thought it was ironic too...XD lol. Not too worried about the procedure, even if I did have cancer at least it's a curable, treatable cancer unlike others which arn't so easily taken care of...

As for my writing...my main novel is suddenly running into several roadblocks...again. And all of them are of the plot type. Which means I may have to re-work it a bit. Damn. Oh well, that's how it goes I suppose. Better than running into these problems later, that's for sure.
Well, that's all for now...au revoir!

So my I've decided I'm going to organize (gasp!) things. Art related stuff stays on my DA account: http://animangel.deviantart.com/ while writing related activity stays here. This way my DA account won't overflow with EVERYTHING and this account actually gets used. I'm so smart it hurts...ouch.

Should post something soon...until then!